Press 1 to talk to nobody, press 2 to talk to nobody again, or press 3 to return to the first nobody.

Once I was able to find the page where one would normally sign in, I was further frustrated upon finding that the whole process of signing in to the website was becoming nothing more than a pain. After several unsuccessful attempts to login and becoming a little `pissed’ at the whole ordeal, I decided to call Rogers directly. To my surprise, there was Melanie again, although this time she did have a few more options which I was forced to listen to before returning me to the main menu to start all over again. Having about exhausted my patience at this point, I decided to call their support number and after listening to Melanie yet again, I was more than relieved to finally be able to get through to some real person. I quickly explained my situation to the technical representative and was somewhat relieved to be talking to someone other than Melanie. As the representative was about to direct me to someone who would be able to help me update my account… my phone when dead. I had exhausted the few remaining minutes I had talking to the mechanical Melanie… Now I was ‘PISSED’…

Needless to say, I had by then just about given up. The mechanical Melanie had tried my patience and won. After attempting a few more calls on the mechanical merry-go-round, not to mention the endless minutes I was forced to hold, it was time to admit defeat. Two to three hours after my first attempt, I was still unable to update my account with the forty dollars I had purchased previously in the day. I called Rogers again for the final time, and after waiting for some time was told that they were experiencing difficulties with their wireless network and that it should return to normal within the hour. After offering to credit my account with ten dollars for my hardships which I promptly refused, only wanting the use of my phone returned, I hung up more than a little ‘pissed’ with the whole ordeal. For the next few hours when I dialled *611 I was greeted with the message… ‘Welcome to Rogers… We’re sorry we are experiencing technical difficulties and are unable to update your account at this time. Please check back later!’

Just why is it they did not play this mechanical message the moment they discovered a problem with their network? And why is it these days that the consumer is always put on hold or left talking to the mechanical Melanie. As one should have noticed, this mechanical madness is becoming more and more of a norm with all big corporations who are more than willing not to answer any of our questions or concerns yet have no problems digging deep into our pockets.

My wish is that the next time one of these big corporations’ calls looking to collect on their account they may hear the same mechanical message… ‘Welcome, if you’re looking for payment Press 1, If you need assistance… go back to the main menu’.